The Story of Project Spite

What is Project Spite? Let me explain.

By way of introduction, I would love to write something along the lines of, “I've always struggled with my weight.” But that's not really the truth. That phrase is something that people use to justify their status quo, whatever physical condition that happens to be. The truth is, I never struggled with my weight (or fitness level) until very recently. If it was a fight, it was one-sided, and I was behind on the judge's scorecard for a very long time.

I have always been a bigger dude, but also very active, and I assumed that my weight/shape were essentially fixed. I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted to, and justified my diet (or lack thereof) in a variety of ways. The results weren't optimal at the best of times, but when I came back from a vacation in British Columbia this May tipping the scales at around 220lbs (bear in mind, I'm around 5'7”), I knew I had to make a change. After all, I have a family history of heart disease, diabetes and stroke – I know the Reaper is going to get me on one of those eventually, but why make it easy for him?

To make a long story short, at the end of May 2009, I had a very bad “free consultation” with a personal trainer at Goodlife. I think his playbook looked something like this:

1. Sit the dupe down in your office.

2. Make dupe feel bad about himself. Use computer modelling of fat people whenever possible.

3. Show the dupe a cable machine, have him try a woodchopper.

4. Get distracted by a cute girl in the gym.

5. Sit the dupe back down in your office again.

6. Imply to the dupe that he can't get into shape without you.

7. Sell the dupe a year's worth of personal training sessions at a total value of THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.

8. When the dupe balks at the price for your services, offer a payment plan.

Honest to G-d, it was a higher pressure sell than when I bought my car. I thanked the trainer for his time, and told him that I just couldn't spend that much money on something that doesn't have four bedrooms or go from 0 to 100km/h in 5.1 seconds. He insisted on scheduling a follow-up consultation, the purpose of which I presume was to show me how paltry my best efforts were compared to what I could achieve with his services, and give him one last opportunity to make a sales pitch. It would be in a month's time. I got the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

And that's how “Spite Month” was born. I resolved to work my ass off for 30 days, concentrate on eating well, and lose as much weight as possible, just so I could throw it in the trainer's face.*

(*for the record, I'm not against personal trainers. In fact, I'm using the services of a fantastic one right now. I just resented the sales pitch, and the negativity that the personal trainer at Goodlife used to try to scare me into retaining him. I felt like at the time, I needed to prove to myself that I could direct my efforts towards my personal fitness without being compelled to spend hojillions of dollars in the process.)

So here we are. It's been 3.5 months, which is why “Spite Month” has been renamed “Project Spite.” I like the idea of “Project Spite” much better – I don't want to put a timeline on my efforts. From Day 1 this has been about making positive, sustainable lifestyle changes.

Which brings us up to the present moment. I'm planning on taking a bit of time out as often as possible to document the Project, and keep myself accountable. Again, it's less about your need to read, and more about my need to write, but I hope you'll check in every once in a while.

Welcome to Day 116. And on we go.